Expectations

Expectations weigh me down,

Like perennial baggage, always around.

Hoodwinking the mind,

To believe the world to be unrealistically kind.

 

Everything’s a mirage,

Even me – like the pieces of a counterfeit collage.

As I carry them everyday,

Hunching gloomily on forever dreary days,

Trying to exceed expectations,

Entangling in obligations, frustrations and denigrating revelations.

I initiate something expecting reciprocation,

Thus sustaining the circle of deprivation,

The steps I take become heavier and slower,

As I try to break my mental barriers.

The question that remains,

Is whose expectations are in strain?

Are you creating the rosy picture for me?

Or am I the one trying to create a fantasy?

Apparently trying isn’t good enough,

But succeeding is quixotically tough!

As I stand here in regret,

With tears like glass making my face wet,

I tried real hard to meet your expectations, to be my charming best,

But even as I fail, your charming best is what I expectantly request!

For, I realise, I initiate something expecting reciprocation,

And I fail, thus sustaining the circle of deprivation.